Ick bin ein Berliner

John F. Kennedy said it in 1963: "Ich bin ein Berliner."

(and he wasn´t thinking of this -->)









Obama said it two weeks ago.

Currently, there are 3,52 million people living in Berlin, more or less permanently. 3,52 MILLION! That´s just one million less people than the WHOLE OF NEW ZEALAND inhabits! Can you imagine so many people on one spot?
(Yeah, if you can´t, try going to Mauerpark on a sunny day. Or to Treptower Park, or just queuing up at Mustafas might give you an idea.)

Anyway, since I´ve noticed I´ve recently been talking a lot about nation´s psyches, like Britain and Greece, I thought I would talk about my own city for a change.

What´s the typical Berliner? It seems like noone actually IS from Berlin nowadays. Everybody just moved here - it´s such a melting pot of ethnicities, cultures, interests, or just plain crazy people! It´s fascinating how everybody can just live whatever life they would like here (I mentioned that earlier, too, here: Berlin-Poor but Sexy)

CSD 2013

HOLI Open Air 2013

MayFest 

So now that we have established that there´s not one Berliner, but a lot of various types, here´s an overview of people you might encounter when walking the streets of Berlin:


1. The Alternative

Whatever it is, they are against it. I´m thinking of these young mothers (and fathers! Because Feminism has certainly reached this sort of people, and fraternity leave is not just plain theory but a fundamental value) walking around with their alternative retro strollers, wearing some clothes made of plants, FairTrade of course, and probably getting a heart attack if one of their apples they eat is not Bio. They´re like the Hipster, only older, and with a child.

2. The Expatriot Student

I count myself to this funny group of human beings. We are young, we are free, we came to conquer the world and because our hometowns weren´t big enough any more for our egos/ambitions/reputation/or whatever. Some of us come, are frightened by how many people there are, and retire into quieter parts of Berlin.
Some of us come and get sucked into the sheer overflowing nightscene to be spit out a couple of days/weeks/months later with cocaine stains, a massive hangover and University cut short.
Then there´s, of course, the major moderate group, like me, that needed some time to get used to all this, but somehow did, and is now happily sauntering around welcoming all sorts of distractions and food possibilities and enjoying life in general.



3. The Hipster

Uh-Oh, who hasn´t heard about this international phenomenon yet?
No, I´m not talking about my mom! How do you know I had to explain it to her only last week? Or how do you know my mom??
Nah, The Hipster.
Horn-rimmed glasses, Jute bag, skinny jeans, favorably Anno Domini or worn by your grandma, Club Mate in his hands + a self rolled cigarette. Some representatives of this group that is so often made fun of think it a good, even liberating idea to grow beards and never trim them.
There´s a hipster in every one of us, though.
Don´t you go crazy at flea markets? Don´t you love old stuff that could´ve belonged to your grandparents? And Club Mate IS cool, and Jute bags ARE convenient!

I wear your granddad's clothes (damn right)

I look incredible (now come on man)

 I'm in this big ass coat (big ass coat)

From that thrift shop down the road (let's go)

                   (Dalai Lama)

(that´s an inside joke from the book "Das Känguru Manifest" which I highly recommend, btw)

4. The Foreigner

 Dozens, hundreds, millions of people come here all the time, like it, and stay. Berlin is unique, you don´t even necessarily have to speak German to live here.
It´s Arabians, Bulgarians, Turks, Spaniards, French, Italians, English, Australians, everything. That´s why we have so many awesome restaurants, and markets. That is what makes Berlin colorful: seeing a mother in a Burka pushing a baby stroller next to a 14-year-old in hotpants and Primark-T-Shirt on her iPhone. In the evenings, Arabian men sit on Sonnenallee´s pavements, smoke shisha and talk about God-Knows-What. What a mixture.

5. The very typical stereotype Berliner

Det hab ick dir doch jesacht, wa? Det is unmöglich, det kann ja wohl nich wahr sein!

Berliner Kindl with Waldmeister

Like this - or similar - might the typical Berliner talk, it´s the famous Berliner Schnauze. You hardly ever hear it. But they are there, nevertheless, and undoubtedly! they still exist. The stereotypical Berliner tries hard to hide in the masses, but can easily be spotted through his unfriendliness in shops, restaurants or cafés. The Berliner´s notion of service: zero. The customer is the king? Ha, not here! You should be grateful that the shopkeepers let you inside their shop! That´s the way the cookie crumbles!

I once overheard a conversation at the bakery where the girl on charge was practically shouting at that poor customer - an old muslim lady - that there was pig in the cake she was about to buy. The lady didn´t understand what all the fuss was about and the girl just kept repeating "DA IS ABA SCHWEIN DRIN WA..."
Or the time I came to my U-Bahn-Station and there were lots of police cars and ambulances around and the woman in the pharmacy just dryly commented: "Da is wohl wieda eina vorn Zug jehoppt." Oh Berlin...

He or she loves Currywurst, drinks Berliner Kindl with Waldmeister or Raspberry Sirup, goes to Kaffeklatsch and is generally happy in this Schrebergarden.
Or so you might be tempted to believe.



What do you think? Which of these categories do you fit in, or do you have any additions? Let me know!